Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
