I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
