So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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