She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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