I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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