it hurts more in the daytime
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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