A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
