Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize