He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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