Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
