he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
