Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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