is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
