Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
