you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
