I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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