why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize