they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
