It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
