I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
