It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
