he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
