dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he shaved USA in his pubs
i think i have two assholes
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
