This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize