What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
tell me about the eggs
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