I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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