I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
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its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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