Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
