hotel room ftw
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
