Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's blow job season.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
