I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
