a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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