So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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