In America we eat man semen.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
