I think I won the penis lottery.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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