You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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