ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
