Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
