just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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