i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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