I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
