sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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