he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
