Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
