Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
