the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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