I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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