SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.