well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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