Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
