Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize