If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
PANTIES FOUND
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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