you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
