He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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