she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
