I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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