Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
