i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?