I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet