Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.