Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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