That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
