Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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